New iPod Touch

My iPod recently broke down beyond repair and, being outside the warranty, I was encouraged to recycle it and get ten percent off a new one. I was going to get a nano, or maybe even a shuffle, believing that they suited my needs adequately at a lower price.
For better or worse, I was investigating this with my mother before a long anticipated brunch. She insisted upon getting me the iPod Touch as a replacement.
In order to display my mother’s bizarre mind reading prowess, allow me to outline the event precisely. We walk in and are directed to the concierge in charge of making appointments for broken devices, etc. I tell him the problem “It’s utterly and completely dead,” he runs tests to make sure I’m not just like the last idiot to come in and say that, confirms my diagnosis, and outlines my options considering that it is out of warranty. 1. Buy a new one at 10% off through the recycling program or 2. Trade it in for a used one, without a warranty, that will be cheaper than a new one.
My mother directs me to ‘go look at iPods.’ I carefully read all the specs and, despite the fact that my now deceased iPod was an iPod classic (with video, etc.), that the smallest Nano would suit my needs, but that I would be willing to settle for the older version of the shuffle. My one hesitation in buying the Nano would have been that it wouldn’t fit in my armband for running- I’d need to get a new one. This was small change compared to the difference between the classic and the nano, however, so I determined it wouldn’t be a problem. The reason I wanted a Nano rather than the Shuffle was the video capability. A few years ago I would have been perfectly satisfied without any video- this was the case when I was given the deceased iPod. I had never, in fact, made real use of the video capabilities until less than a month ago when I downloaded some free courses from Yale’s website. Even so, I decided, I was perfectly capable of downloading the audio only versions instead. It would involve losing some of the content, but not too much, I decided. In any case, I could always go back and look at the videos on my computer.
Thus I had almost talked myself down to a Shuffle when my mother walks up. “You’re getting a Touch, where are the Touches?”
She leaves me trying to translate the apps labeled in Chinese on the display Touch while she goes to make the purchase. I go back and interrupt her.
“I really don’t think this is necessary, I mean, all I need is a Nano.”
“I knew that’s what you were planning on getting.”
“I would have gotten a Shuffle, it’s so much cheaper, except that I want the video so that I can-”
“Do the Open Yale Courses, I know.”
She scares me sometimes.

In any case, this is a call for help. The only worse thing than a very bad piece of technology is a very good piece of technology that the user doesn’t know how to operate. Therefore, please, take pity on me. Let me know all the cool things that my new iPod Touch will be capable of when my mother brings it by in a few hours. (I ran home from our brunch) How should I use it? What features do I need to be aware of. Don’t allow me to be the poor sod who walks into the Apple Store saying that his iPod isn’t working when, in fact, he simply doesn’t know what he’s doing.

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